


Once More, With Feeling!

by padfootormoose



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Fix-It, I had fun, I'm trying, M/M, how it should have ended, might add more later - Freeform, supernatural series finale fix-it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:55:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27865725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padfootormoose/pseuds/padfootormoose
Summary: My own take on how the series should have ended/where I (and I'm sure others) thought it was going.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Comments: 10
Kudos: 86





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go :)

The car was silent, except for the quiet panting of Miracle, as Dean drove back to the bunker. There was only one thing left to do with Chuck now human and everyone returned. It couldn’t be that hard to rescue Cas from the Empty with a newly superpowered Jack on their side and Dean’s quiet but obvious determination to see him again.

Jack decided that Amara didn’t need to be tucked away within him when she had spent most of her existence being locked away. He let her out and let her be free to continue her exploration of the world that her, now mortal, brother created, but only after they discussed the reformation of Heaven.

They pulled up to the bunker, and as soon as the door was opened, they got to work. Dean rarely found himself this focused on a case, but this was Cas. Cas was more important than anything else right now. Dean still had something to say, and he wasn’t going to let Cas get away without him saying it this time.

From what Jack could remember about the Empty, he knew that it would be mad that he “made it loud”. Guessing from that comment, there were suspicions that there might be others who were awake. Getting into the Empty would be no problem. Jack would open the portal to the Empty, and Sam would use a spell to keep it open while Dean and Jack went in. The conflict was with the entity itself and how to deal with it.

Dean, of course, didn’t want to sit and plan out the whole rescue mission. He just wanted Cas back. Sam decided that it would be best for Dean to go in with Jack to get Cas and to only get Cas. Deals with the Empty would be left up to Jack because Dean wouldn’t be able to stop himself from punching another cosmic being in the face. Since Sam and Jack were going to take forever to plan their rescue mission, Dean was going to plan what he was going to say as soon as he got Cas back. Dean stood in front of the mirror but looked down at his feet, feeling a mix of shame, nervousness, and anger. It was three words, but those three words were always hard to say no matter how strongly he felt them.

He took a moment to picture those bright sky blue eyes and how he felt when he last saw them. All the things he couldn’t say, not enough time, but that wouldn’t be a problem for him, never again. He was going to get Cas back, and this time he was going to make him stay. His jaw clenched, he lifted his head to look himself in the eyes. “Cas- “his voice croaked out. Maybe he needed some water, but then again, when was the last time he drank anything but booze? He considered grabbing a quick drink, but no, he couldn’t drink, he didn’t want what he had to say to be a drunken confession. He cleared his throat and tried again, “Cas, I- “, he let out a frustrated sigh. “Damnit.” Why was this so hard? What was the point of dragging his ass out if he couldn’t even say the damn words? One more try, one more and he could do it. “Cas, I lo- “, a knock came at the bathroom door.

“Hey Dean, you ready to go? Jack and I have everything ready.” Sam said through the door.

 _No, I can’t not yet. I haven’t even said-_ “Yeah, I’m good.” Dean opened the door. “Let’s do this.” He followed Sam into the war room where Jack was standing at attention with a look of determination on his face not seen before. “Kid, relax. We got this.” Jack relaxed his shoulders but kept his brow furrowed.

“Dean, you go in. grab Cas, extract his grace, and get out. Got it?” Dean cast his eyes downward. He knew that in order to rescue Cas from the Empty he would have to extract his grace and make him human. That was the only way he could get out of his deal and return with Dean, but just because it had to be that way didn’t mean Dean liked it one bit. Cas was his- Cas was an angel, and while that didn’t define him, it was one thing he was sure as hell proud of. But it also made him feel like that was his only use to the Winchesters, and Dean was going to make sure he changed Cas’s mindset. “Dean?” Sam pressed.

“Yeah, yeah. Got it.” Dean responded shortly. How would he explain himself to Cas would he understand? _Well of course he would. Remember when he said that you do everything for lo-_ Maybe he’d be okay.

“Are you both ready? Sam, did you call Eileen?” Jack asked.

“Yeah, she’s on her way. She said she would be here in about an hour.” Sam smiled. Dean was glad that his brother’s girlfriend would keep him company while Jack and Dean ventured into the unknown. Sam gathered some supplies in two small hex bags and handed them to Dean. He looked up curiously at Sam, “Humans aren’t supposed to be in the Empty. These are going to protect you and Cas from anything that might attack you and being erased from existence. As soon as you get his grace out, plant one on him.” Sam answered his unasked question. Dean shoved them in his pocket, making sure that they were secure. He grabbed an extra angel blade and slid it up his sleeve, now mostly ready to go.

A look passed between the three of them. “Now?” Jack asked. They nodded and braced themselves. He turned toward where the portal to the Apocalypse universe once was and closed his eyes. When he reopened them, they were glowing golden, and a rip in space, much like the one he created before being born, was created. Sam rushed to a large bowl with herbs, cut his hand, and chanted “ _Protegere eos qui in incertum sagittam dirigens et haec lux tenebras ignotus dux eorum domum tutam”_. Light emanated from the bowl and shot towards the portal. It grew brighter and Jack and Dean stepped towards it.

“See you on the other side Sammy.” They stepped through.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter two from Sam's perspective :)

Sam watched as his brother and kind of son, kind of nephew, walked through a portal to a place that neither he nor Dean had previously explored. _I guess Dean gets the win for exploring the most planes of existence. Hell, Heaven, Purgatory, three alternate worlds, and now the Empty._ He hoped that it wouldn’t be like all those other times. They had been trapped, tortured, killed, and more. They still had nightmares, but neither of them had ever spoken on it. Chuck forbid, well Jack forbid now, that the macho Winchesters ever express an emotion. He watched Dean grieve Cas through his “functional” alcoholism, and he grieved Eileen by doing everything he could to get her back. And now she was on her way to him. He’d get to see her, touch her, and love her. _Just a few minutes._ He watched the portal’s slight, fluid movements with anticipation. How did time work in the Empty? He shook his head and occupied his mind by picking up some reading, but he couldn’t focus because he kept checking his phone waiting on more updates from Eileen.

Just as he was actually starting to take in the words from the book on fae lore, he got an incoming video call from Eileen. He picked his phone up immediately and answered the call. He saw Eileen’s beautiful face on the screen and signed _Are you here?_ She replied by knocking on the door of the bunker. Sam raced up the stairs as he had seen Dean do days before when he believed Cas was on the other side. As he got to the door, he pushed it open and saw Eileen waiting for him with a smile on her face. He pulled her into a tight hug, determined to not ever let her go again. He released her from his grip just to lean down and kiss her softly. He held her face in his hands and with one hand, gently pushed her hair behind her ear. Smiling, he signed _I missed you._

She signed and said back, “Right back at you.” She took his hand, and they walked down the stairs to the portal. Eileen watched the portal for a second and signed to Sam _Dean and Jack are in there?_

 _Yeah, but they’ll be back soon enough. Right now, I have you and…_ He let out a whistle, beckoning Miracle to come over. Eileen’s eyes brightened as the otterhound ran over and sat down at Sam’s feet.

 _Name?_ Eileen signed as she bent down to greet the dog.

 _Miracle, Dean’s dog, but Jack loves her too._ Sam joined her on the floor. He scratched behind her ears then got up again remembering that Miracle probably hadn’t been fed since before Dean and Jack left. He walked to the kitchen, and Eileen and Miracle followed. He figured that since he was getting something for Miracle, he might as well make something for Eileen and himself too.

Sam turned to Eileen _What do you want to eat?_

 _Whatever is easiest._ She gave him a small smile and headed to the fridge for beers. Sam fed Miracle and made a simple salad, knowing Dean would be rolling his eyes if he could see him right now. He finished tossing the ingredients together and sat down at the table with Eileen. She took a sip of her beer and peered over at him. _Are you going to tell me what happened now?_

Sam took in a deep breath and contemplated on what to tell her and where to start. He thought about the events of the previous days and how hard it what just to keep getting up, especially with Chuck actually beating him and Dean down. _Billie brought Jack back to kill Chuck. He had to do all this weird stuff, like with me and the trials. But Billie was just using him so she could take over and send everyone back “where they were supposed to be”. Dean brought Jack in to kill Chuck and Amara, killing Jack in the process, but that didn’t work. Billie sent Jack to the Empty where he exploded, made the Empty angry, and when Billie brought him back, he was absorbing power from plants, then Michael, and … Lucifer._ Sam paused and thought about the fear he felt when he saw Lucifer again. How he tricked Dean into believing that he was Cas, similar to how he tricked Sam into believing that he was Jess. Thinking of him stirred up memories of all that time in the cage. Eileen put a comforting hand over his.

 _You don’t have to talk about it if you’re not ready._ Sam knew she wasn’t referring to the past few days. He still hadn’t told her everything about his time in Hell, what he could remember of it. He smiled, grateful to have someone as amazing as Eileen to be there for him.

He continued. _Before them, people were disappearing. We thought it was Billie because Dean tried to kill her, but he found out that it was Chuck when he went to kill Death again. He lost Cas, I lost you, we lost everyone. Chuck brought Lucifer back to get Death’s book on him. He brought a reaper to become the new Death, but his plan didn’t work. We fought Chuck, and he beat Dean and me to a pulp. He let out all sorts of power that Jack absorbed, and he made Chuck mortal. He brought you back, and now he and Dean are off to get Cas._ Sam looked at Eileen’s widened eyes and took a big swig of his beer. Sam let her process that load of information while he started in on his salad.

She let out a sigh and signed _I’m here now._ He was comforted by her statement and was about to respond when the light emanating from the portal began to flash. He stood up quickly and headed over to the war room. The portal continued flashing, and Sam checked on the spell. It seemed to be burning through its fuel. Sam quickly gathered the necessary ingredients and threw them in along with more of his blood. There’s got to be something else he could use instead, right? He lifted his gaze to the portal and began to wonder how things were going on the other side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are just a few chapters left, please bear with me.


	3. Chapter 3

Silence. Quiet. Just how they liked it. Oh, how they loved being able to sleep along with all the demons and angels. And that’s how it was for millennia. Until that stupid blue-eyed seraph woke up and started screaming and yelling and being a nuisance. That pesky little angel managed to worm his way out and not wake anyone else up, so as irritated as the Empty was at least it was quiet enough to go back to sleep.

Then the nerdy Nephilim wanted to go to Heaven instead of where he belonged. And there was that angel again. Not leaving empty-handed, the entity made a deal. The Nephilim for the angel. But they wanted the angel to suffer, so they wouldn’t wait for the angel to die again. They would come and take him when he finally allowed himself to be truly happy. With that, the Empty went back to a peaceful place. Until the Nephilim came back after his grandfather killed him. Then Billie took him to do her bidding and said they would work together with the Empty.

The same Billie who betrayed them and sent the kid back to make it loud. The same Billie they took when the angel finally expressed his love and felt that happiness. That silly Billie.

So, the angel was back, but it was loud. It was so LOUD. It seemed that every being was awake now. Making noise and sounding like insolent, whining children. They just wanted to sleep! They needed everyone to shut up and go back to sleep, but there were so many of them. At least Castiel stayed quiet. He knew the rules, and he made a deal.

“Shut up! Ugh, why can’t you all just be quiet! Why do you have to make it so loud?” the Empty let their frustration out for all in the void to hear. For just a moment there was complete silence. Then came the onslaught of questions. “Who are you?” “Meg?” “Where are we?” “What’s going on?” were most of them.

The Empty sighed. _Might as well answer their questions if it will keep them quiet._ “Welcome to the Empty, I’m the entity who runs the joint, and you’re all dead. Is that all? Can you just go back to sleep?” the Empty ended with contempt.

“Sleep? Did we wake up?” an angel asked.

The Empty let out a drawn-out growl. “Yes. You were all _asleep_ and _quiet_ then the Nephilim boy made it loud.”

From far off, there was a flash of light. That never happened. That wasn’t supposed to happen. They focused their gaze on the two figures that emerged from the light. One was the Nephilim, _speak of the Devil’s son,_ and the other was the Winchester they had yet to meet. The Empty looked down at Cas, “Looks like your boyfriend is here to save you. Too bad you can’t go anywhere.” He looked up confused and followed the source of light. His sad expression became almost hopeful, until the Empty’s words sunk in. From their throne, the Empty smirked, “We made a deal angel.” He cast a forlorn glance towards the hunter and let his misery show as he looked back down.

“Cas! Cas! Where are you?” Dean shouted.

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay quiet.” Castiel said nothing. “Good angel.” The Empty moved towards the hunter. “Hello, Dean.” They appeared as Castiel.

“Cas!” Dean sighed with relief. He moved close to the entity.

“Dean, what are you doing here?” ‘Castiel’ asked.

Dean looked confused, “What do you mean what am I doing here? I’m here to rescue your dumb ass.”

“Dean, I don’t understand. You know these deals can’t be broken.”

“We found a loophole, Cas. We can get you out. We can bring you home.” Dean had a faint look of relief on his face. Oh, this was too much fun for the cosmic being. They schooled the face they had come to resent into a serious expression.

“And what do you think would make me want to go back to a world that wants nothing with me? To people who don’t want me unless they have something to gain from me? What is left for me on Earth?” the tone was scornful, and it had its desired effect.

Dean drew back as if he had been stung. “Cas, come on, man. Sam and Jack need you. Cas, I need you. I- “

“Do you need me? Or are you just letting your fear of abandonment take over your decision-making? Are you here for me or for you?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean? Cas you told me that you l- “

“Dean! Over here, I found Cas!” The hunter perked up, confused. He saw Jack standing next to a duplicate of Cas. He looked back in front of him to see the Empty wearing a sinister smirk.

“You’re not Cas.”

“No shit, Winchester. I’m not your angel but I’ll let you in on a little something. He’s not your angel anymore.” Dean’s look darkened and for the first time in its existence, the Empty felt, for less than a millisecond, what it was like to be a monster that had come face to face with a Winchester after taking someone precious from them.

“There never has been a time and there never will be a time where he isn’t my angel.” Dean pushed through a crowd of angels and demons to get to Cas. Young love, disgusting.

“Hello.” Great, the Nephilim.

“What is it now? Gonna make it louder? Have fun trying.”

“Quite the opposite actually.” This raised the Empty’s interest. “I have a proposition for you.”

“No, I’m not making any more deals with the Winchesters' pets.”

“I am a Winchester. And you will listen to what I have to say, or your eternity will be spent trying to keep them,” Jack gestured to the crowd, “quiet.”

Spending eternity unable to sleep in peace, truly a living hell. “You can make it quiet? Forever?” Jack nodded. “How?” the Empty was skeptical but starting to get desperate.

“You let me send every angel and demon back to Heaven and Hell, where they belong.”

“And I would do that for what reason?”

“If you don’t want to go back to sleep, that’s fine. Enjoy babysitting.”


	4. Chapter 4

Jack turned to walk away and hid a smirk on his face. Thankfully being a Winchester meant he wasn’t terrible at negotiations. Three, two, one. “Kid, wait.”

There it was. Jack turned around and tilted his head. “Yes?”

“You promise? I sleep forever, never to be woken again by them?” the Empty held back their desperation, but Jack was smart, and he could see through the façade.

“Of course. They go back, you go to sleep. You finally get to rest in peace.” Jack knew he was close to cracking them.

“And what happens when they die again? They come back to wake me up?”

“I will ensure that that doesn’t happen. You have my word.” Jack was sincere. He was going to fix all the messes Chuck and Billie made. First, he would get his dad back, then bring silence to the Empty by returning those who wandered through it and figure all else out from there. Before he brought everyone back he considered taking a hands-off approach unlike Chuck, but he figured that Chuck’s problem was not in interacting with his creation but controlling it in his favor and using it for entertainment rather than letting it grow on its own. Jack was smarter than Chuck.

“They can go. But Castiel stays.” the Empty wouldn’t give up everything so easily. Jack was lucky he didn’t have the Winchester temper.

“No, he won’t actually.”

“He made a deal.” The Empty bit out. Jack sighed internally. Cosmic beings always made life so hard. Maybe that statement sounded hypocritical considering Jack was a cosmic being. _Now is not the time._ He had to focus on making sure Cas and Dean could make it back without interference.

“That may be, but you know that you can’t keep humans. They don’t belong here.”

That caught the Empty’s attention. “He’s not…” Their eyes narrowed. “What are you playing at?”

“I’m not playing at anything. You’re going to give us Cas or we’re going to take him. Either way, he’s not staying here.”

“How am I supposed to be taken seriously when everyone wants to come in here and mess everything up?”

“Why are you worried about what will happen when you're out?” Jack knew he probably shouldn’t have asked that by the look on their face. “I just mean to say that you won’t have to worry about that sort of stuff when you’re asleep. No one to bother you or wake you up.” Jack hoped that he sounded convincing enough.

“I never want to see or hear from any of you Winchesters again. Final offer.”

“Deal.”

The Empty turned to Dean who was holding Cas’s face in his hand and looking completely in love. “Hey pretty boy, get it out and go.” The Empty sighed. “And as for the rest of you. Scram.” They snapped and two portals were made: one for Heaven, one for Hell. Amara appeared between the portals likely to sort the still confused beings into where they were supposed to go. The portals flashed as angels and demons were sent back to strengthen Heaven or give Rowena a massive headache in Hell. That was until the only ones left were Crowley and the archangels. Jack wasn’t familiar with Crowley, but he recognized him from the memories he received before he was born. He approached the group cautiously.

“Hello.”

“Who the hell are you?” Crowley sniped.

“He’s my kid. Hey Jack, how are you doing, champ?” Lucifer responded.

“That’s the spawn of Satan? Looks like a copycat Castiel.” Jack smiled at Crowley’s comment, proud to resemble his chosen father while Lucifer looked offended.

“What are we doing standing around here? Aren’t we supposed to go back?” Gabriel inquired.

“Not quite yet. We have to discuss some things before we send you away.” Amara interjected. “See, Jack and I have come to an agreement on where you belong. Lucifer and Michael, until you can figure your crap out, you’ll be human, like Chuck. So you might want to figure it out quick or you’ll find yourselves living mortal lives and dying mortal deaths.”

The words took the desired effect as Lucifer and Michael’s faces looked both horrified and disgusted at having to resolve their problems and be human.

“And you won’t be able to make any deals with any being or siphon power off of others. Along with that, I’ve ensured that there will be no demon willing to make deals with you or angel willing to trade grace because as soon as you break those rules and even attempt to make contact, well let’s just say where you’ll end up makes the cage look like Paradise.” It was really about time they learned their lessons.

“And us?” Gabriel asked.

“For you and Raphael, that is if Raphael does not wish to join Michael and Lucifer in what I’m sure sounds like a fun little adventure on Earth,” Amara turned to Raphael. He simply shook his head, eyes wide and still taking in all of the information he’d just been given, “you will be helping me rule Heaven and the other returned angels. There is work that must be done, and if you don’t think you can handle it, you know the other option.”

“Can we still watch the Michael and Lucifer fistfights from the ‘holy throne room’?” Gabriel smirked.

“As long as it doesn’t distract you from your work.” Jack replied. He’d been quietly observing up to this point and decided to rejoin the conversation. “You three will be responsible for overseeing all Heavenly activity. I have faith that I should not have to interfere. For Hell, we already have someone covering over there.” He turned to Crowley. “Your mother is doing a very good job.” Crowley rolled his eyes. He should have known that witch would take over in his absence. “You get to travel. You will bring the Winchesters intel and help Rowena keep Hell in line.” Crowley shrugged it off. At least he didn’t have to suffer through a mortal existence with the older archangels.

“So now that everyone knows their roles, they can go.” Amara led Gabriel and Raphael to the portal for Heaven and Crowley walked to the one leading to Hell. They left and Jack approached Michael and Lucifer with an archangel blade in hand.

“Son you know you don’t have to do this.” Lucifer tried.

“I’m not your son.” Jack smiled as he watched the grace drain out of Lucifer and into a small jar he pulled out of his pocket. Michael was silently displeased as he watched his grace get bottled up and shoved carelessly into Jack’s pocket. “Lead the way.” Michael and Lucifer walked in front of Jack on their way to the portal leading back to the bunker. Far ahead of them, he could see Dean practically carrying Cas through the portal. The Nephilim and former archangels arrived at the portal and stepped into the light. Jack took in a deep breath. It was good to be home.


	5. Chapter 5

Dean recognized many of the faces as he navigated the crowd to find Cas. He kept pushing through the crowd past those he killed and watched die. Cas was the only thing on his mind. But despite heading towards him, he didn’t seem to be getting any closer. He moved faster, nearly bowling others over in his desperate attempt to reach Cas. He called out to him “Cas! Damn it, I know you can hear me you son of a bitch!” Sure enough, insulting him caused him to turn around. There was Cas’s face. His stupid, beautiful face that said, ‘ _Did you seriously just scream that to me across the void?’_ It seemed that when he and Cas made eye contact that the space between them suddenly closed and before Dean could stop himself, he was tackling Cas to the floor. He had landed right on top of Cas. Feeling unusually flustered by being in such close proximity to his best friend. He got up and pulled Cas up with him. “Well, that’s one way to greet someone.” Dean tried to joke. “Cas, I- Jack and I came to get you out.” He knew his eyes were pleading with Cas to understand him.

“Dean, you can’t be here. You know these sorts of deals can’t be broken. Cosmic consequences and all.” Dean remembered the broken deal with Billie and how it ended up for Cas. This was different.

“It’s different this time. Jack and Amara are in control of everything now. Chuck’s mortal, everyone’s back, and now you’re going to come back too. Please, Cas.” Now Dean was actually pleading.

“I made a deal, Dean.” Cas looked far off into the Empty.

“We found a loophole. You can come back with me. Come back to the bunker and live with us.”

“Even if I did, what would be the point? I would outlive all of you except Jack. What kind of life would that be?” Dean bit his lip and hesitated to tell him the next part. Cas caught on to it, “What? What are you not telling me?”

Dean looked to his eyes, silently begging Cas for forgiveness for the information he was about to deliver. “The loophole, you wouldn’t outlive us. You would be human. You would have to give up your grace to get out of here.” Dean paused trying to gauge a reaction from Cas. He only stared blankly ahead. “I know it isn’t ideal, and I would never ask this of you if- “

“Then why are you?”

“Because we want you back. You’re our family.”

“No Dean, why are _you_ doing this?” Oh, he was going to have to go there. Right now? Right now, okay, cool.

Dean took a moment to respond, taking in a long breath before answering. “Before the Empty took you when we were in the basement, what were you saying? Did you mean it like, that?”

“How did I mean what?” He was really going to make Dean say it out loud. He’d barely had the time to process what he was told and much less to think about his response.

He felt his mouth go dry and something in his throat. “When you said that you loved me. Did you mean it as in you’re my best friend or…” Dean trailed off and his eyes darted to Cas’s lips and licked his own.

“Dean Winchester, you are an idiot.”

His mouth opened in protest and he let out a “No I’m n- why would you- how- I am not an idiot,” he ended indignantly. He hurried, “You still didn’t answer me.”

“I love you as in when I first laid a hand on you in Hell, I was lost. I love you as in the thing that broke me out of a homicidal, Naomi induced trance was being told I was needed, needed by you. I love you as in you are the one thing I could never have. I love you, Dean Winchester.” Cas pulled back from him. “And if that bothers you, I’ll stay here. You can forget me once and for all. Because I can’t exist in a world that I would be able to do the same. Because, Dean, a life without loving you isn’t one worth living.”

“Seems like I’m not the only idiot.” Cas's head tilted to the side. “Which one of us said that everything I do, I do for love? How can you not know? How can you think I don’t feel the same? Cas, how can you not know that I love you? What about my most raw instinct being to find you and leave Purgatory with you, wasn’t obvious? Not killing you under the influence of the Mark or telling you “I’d rather have you, cursed or not” didn’t strike you as love?”

Cas stepped into Dean’s “personal space”, but he had no protests. “I guess we’re both a couple of dumbasses.”

Dean brought his hand to Cas’s face and softly caressed it. “Less dumb, less ass.” His eyes flickered between Cas’s lips and eyes just before leaning in for a kiss. It was soft and awkward. Dean had kissed a lot of people in his life, most of them women, but none of those could compare to what he was experiencing at that moment. He had always spent quite a bit of time staring at Cas’s lips and occasionally wondered how they would feel against his. He would stop before his mind went too far. He wouldn’t have to wonder anymore. Gentle, chapped, and warm, Dean didn’t think he would ever be able to get enough. He slowly pulled back from the kiss to put their foreheads together and bring Cas closer to him. “I love you. I want you, and I need you. I don’t want to forget about you or live without you. A life without you in it isn’t worth living.” Internally, Dean rolled his eyes for repeating, _technically it's paraphrasing,_ Cas’s words back to him, but he meant it. All of it. He was finally able to speak his truth and he was not going to hold back. He was going to let him know how loved he was every day for the rest of their shared lives. With a light kiss on the forehead, he pulled Cas into his arms, hands aggressively bunching up the dirty trench coat and face buried between his neck and shoulders. “Please don’t ever leave me again. Don’t go where I can’t follow. I don’t think I could keep going if I lost you again.” Dean started to sob, and Cas brought a comforting hand to Dean’s head. He let it all out. Everything he had repressed for years, all that had happened over the past few days, every moment he went without letting Cas know how he felt. Several shaky breaths later, Dean had calmed down enough to let out a small laugh and went back to holding Cas’s face. "Don't tell Sam about our chick flick moment."

From the Empty came, “Hey pretty boy, get it out and go.”

“This is definitely not the appropriate setting for this.”

“Then let’s go home.”

Their eyes were held a soft gaze before Dean said, “You know you have to be human, right? You’ll lose your grace, and you won’t be able to be an angel anymore.”

“You manage. I think I can handle it.”

“It’s just that you won’t have all your powers and- “

“Do you think I won’t be useful to you and Sam as a hunter?” Cas’s demeanor suddenly changed and seemed more hurt.

“No! No, Cas you are more than your powers. We don’t need all the mojo, just you. I just worry that you won’t be okay once you become human again. You’re so proud of being an angel. I don’t want you to lose who you are because you aren’t what you were.”

“I have no doubt that losing my grace will be hard and not to mention painful, but if it means having a chance at true happiness, it's worth it. You’re worth it, Dean. All that and more. I would do everything for you and everything to be with you. You do what you need to.” His face made Dean’s heart hurt. The expression was pained and loving.

“I can’t do it. It has to be you.” Dean refused to look him in the eyes as he held out the angel blade he had brought with him.

“I will be okay. I have you now. I didn’t last time.” Cas took his hand. The reminder of what happened when Cas was human the first time and how he had kicked him out to live on his own hit him.

“I’m sorry. I really thought I was helping Sam. I was- “

“I know that. You believed you were doing the right thing. You always do. Maybe don’t toss me out this time around.” Even though he had said it in a joking tone, Dean knew he was really pleading with him to be accepted.

He tried to keep it light, “Most that’ll happen is we get in a lovers’ quarrel and you spend the night on the couch.” The confusion on the man’s face made it seem like that was the wrong move.

“Why would I be sleeping on the couch? Has someone taken up residence in my room?” Oh. Did Cas not want to-

“No, I just meant, you know we would, since now we’re…we’re… What are we?”

“You used the phrase “lovers’ quarrel”, so I assume we are lovers or something else of a romantic nature. We did just come to an understanding of our mutual feelings of romantic love for each other, so it seems appropriate.” Cas tentatively took the angel blade out of Dean’s hand. “If that’s what you want.”

“Yeah, I just meant lovers usually when they already share a living space, they also, you know share other things.” _Great job Winchester. That’s one way to not ask him to be roommates._ “We can worry about those other things after we get out of here. I want to get you back before we can even think about them.” Understanding what was being conveyed Cas slowly lifted the angel blade to his throat. He hesitated to extract his grace. “It’s okay. I’m here for you when you fall.” Cas held his loving gaze as dragged the blade across his throat. As it started to flow out, Dean watched with fascination. The angelic grace dispersed and fizzled out into the surrounding atmosphere and Dean planted the hex bag Sam had given him in a pocket on the trench coat. Then Cas collapsed. Dean dropped onto the floor with him. He tried to shake him but to no avail. “Cas! Come on, wake up! We gotta get going home now. Sam and Eileen are waiting on us, and we have to go back before the portal closes.” He thought for a second to slap Cas’s face but decided against it. Instead, he held his face gently and leaned in to kiss him. It was probably just a coincidence, but his eyes flew open, and Dean was able to relax. He pulled Cas into a sitting position and grabbed his shoulder, “You good? Lost you for a second there.”

“I’ve just lost my grace and I’m in a vast plane of existence where my status as a mortal should render me incapable of such a function as existence.”

“Yeah, we should go. Hold on.” Dean pulled a small cloth out and pressed it to the self-inflicted wound on Cas’s neck. “Hold that on there until we can get you some first aid.” He stood up and using Cas’s free hand, brought him up as well. He wobbled and seemed like would have fallen over again if Dean hadn’t wrapped his arm around his waist. “Easy there, tiger. Can you walk?” Cas nodded and tried to walk on his own. He was too weak to even go two steps.

Dean’s hand still on his back, he turned, “Can I lean on you?” He pulled Cas back into him.

“Don’t worry, I got you.” Cas’s weight shifted onto Dean and they moved towards the portal. The Empty was now mostly vacant with only the small group gathered by the Heaven and Hell portals. They walked on and through the one leading back to the bunker, to a new life that would be spent living each moment for each other.


	6. Chapter 6

They were the first to arrive back in the bunker. Cas was groggy and tired and felt like he needed to get off of his feet and sleep for a week. “Dean, I need to rest.” He managed to say.

“Of course, I’ll get you in your bed.” Dean started to head towards Cas’s room, but Cas didn’t move.

“Yours is closer.” He didn’t see the slight red blush on Dean’s face at his suggestion, but he felt his neck and shoulders warm up. He wouldn’t have expected Dean to be so flustered at the idea of Cas in his bed considering the fact that they had kissed not long ago, but Cas was far too tired to think.

“Okay, we’ll go there. Sam? You and Eileen here?”

Sam entered the room followed by Eileen. “Dean? Hey Cas, you’re back.” Sam looked relieved, then he scrunched up his forehead. “You don’t look too hot. Let me get you some food and water.”

“Just bring it to my room.” Dean moved Cas through the room toward the hallway. At Sam’s look, he responded, “He needs to rest.” He was halfway down the hall when he announced, “I’d get out of the war room. Jack was right behind us with Michael and Lucifer.” He threw open the door, Cas stumbled to the bed, and laid down on top of the messily made bed. It was nice and plush, and it smelled like Dean. He could hear Dean in the back of his mind. “You take all the time you need.”

“M’kay.” He said into the pillow, already dozing off.

He was back in the Empty. It was colder than he remembered, and he pulled his trench coat tighter around him. This wasn’t his trench coat. He was wearing a red hoodie and green shirt. This was what he wore when-

“Listen, buddy, you can’t stay.” Dean looked apologetic. He looked down at his hands. Why wasn’t he enough?

“You gotta level with me man. Look me in the eye and tell me you’re not working with Crowley.” Dean’s eyes begged him to say it, to prove he had put his trust in the right angel. Cas couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes. “Son of a bitch.” He raised his gaze. He was on the floor and Dean was above him covered in blood, holding the angel blade. He grabbed onto Dean’s wrist that held his tie. “Dean, please.” Dean slashed down. Cas’s life flashed before his eyes. Watching humanity, pulling Dean out of Hell, rebelling against his family, betraying Dean, arguing with Dean, loving Dean.

“Dean, it’s not broken.” Betrayal.

“You’re not my family, Dean.” Heartbreak.

“I’m sorry, Dean.” Failure.

This was how Dean saw him. Nothing ever good enough or done right. He was never present and always causing some apocalyptic level threat to break loose or bringing about cosmic consequences. Dean was too good for him, but he loved him because he was so good. “Goodbye, Dean.” Dean…Dean…Dean…

“Hey, Dean! I think something is wrong with Cas.” He was sweaty and shaking, hot and hyperventilating. Sam had his shoulder in a tight grip, and Dean came rushing into the room and pushed him aside.

“Cas? Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” He asked. Cas tried to sit up, but Dean kept a firm hand on his chest. “Can you tell me what happened? Did you have a nightmare?” Dean sat next to him on the bed.

He was still disoriented from the nightmare, but managed a very hoarse “Yes, I- I’m sorry, can I have some water?” Sam handed him a glass, and Dean watched Cas with a worried face.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Cas held Dean’s gaze. “I don’t need to. I know what’s real. It was just a bad dream. That’s all.” He heard Sam cough awkwardly and shuffle out of the room.

“So, you’re okay?” Dean pressed. Usually, Cas would find this overbearing, but he couldn’t find it in himself to be annoyed. In fact, it was quite endearing.

“Yes, Dean.” He sat up despite Dean’s protest. “I’m fine. But thank you for your concern.”

“Cas, do you remember what happened in the Empty?” He was surprised Dean brought it up considering the extreme lengths he used to go to in order to repress his feelings, but he supposed things changed. They certainly had between them.

“Are you talking about what you said or…”

“No, I was thinking more like what we did after what we said.”

“Are you asking if I remember kissing you? Because the answer is yes.” Dean relaxed and softened his gaze.

“Was it okay? That I- that we did that?”

“I don’t have a problem with it unless you do.”

“Good because I’d like to do that again if that’s also cool with you.” It amazed him how Dean’s rough exterior faded when he was shown that he was worthy of the affection he received. This was the Dean he loved. He always has been. He grabbed one of Dean’s hands and brought his lips to his fingers.

“It’s something I never thought was possible between us. I always thought that me having a male vessel would bother you since you always seemed so defensive of your sexuality.” He could tell that what he said had upset Dean. “Does it still bother you?”

“It never bothered me. At least, not as much as you think it did. The time I grew up in, being different, liking guys wasn’t accepted as much as it is now. Even now, it’s still a struggle for us.” He was well aware of the discrimination brought about by people who had nothing better to do than hate others for who they love. He remembered the homophobic preacher he killed after he took in the Leviathan.

“You know the King James Version of the Bible is wrong. It is supposed to say, ‘Man shall not lie with boy’, not ‘Man shall not lie with man’. It was mistranslated. It was about pedophilia, not homosexuality. It sure would be ironic if it was considering Chuck has been with men.”

“He what?”

“I’m sorry that you’ve struggled for so long. Even if the world doesn’t accept you, I will. I know Sam and Jack will. We’re your family and we love you.”

“Sam knows. I told him a while back that I like guys, but I’m not gay. He said that I’m bisexual and that I wasn’t doing a very good job of hiding it. Then I called him a bitch and we didn’t talk about it again. My dad though, he used to say, ‘If either of you boys end up being one of those queers, you ain’t my boy no more.’ I was curious when I was a kid but no reason was good enough to leave Sam alone with dad and end up on the streets. Until he left for Stanford. There was Lee, but that didn’t work out. After him, I didn’t try again. Then you came along and flipped my whole world upside down.”

“And that’s a good thing. Right?”

Dean smiled at him and rolled his eyes, “Yes. It’s a great thing.” He paused, thinking about his next words carefully. “Since we’re together now, I was wondering if you would want to stay here now?”

“I thought we already agreed that I would stay here. At least I thought that was what we agreed upon in the Empty.”

“I mean, do you want to stay in here with me? I think the bed is big enough for both of- what?” He stopped, feeling insecure. Cas was grinning from ear to ear and doing his best not to laugh.

“I’m sorry Dean. I don’t mean to offend. It’s just that you’re just managing to surprise me a lot today. So, you’re asking me if I’d like to share a bed with you now that I’m human and require sleep?” Dean nodded. “Yes, I would like that.” He glanced at their position. “It seems like we’re already sharing it.” He gave Dean a cheeky grin.

“Yeah, yeah. Do you want me to go so you can go back to sleep?” Dean started to get up.

Cas shook his head. “No, don’t leave. Please, stay.” Dean sat back down.

“Okay.”

Cas laid back on the bed. “You’re welcome to lay down too.” Would he do it? Was this too fast? Sure, they were going to start sharing it anyway, but he wouldn’t mind if they started sooner rather than later.

“Okay, let me shower and get out of these clothes first.” Dean leaned over and gave Cas a peck on the forehead. He walked out, and Cas felt his eyes closing against his will. He turned over and was out before Dean got back.

When he woke up, he didn’t know how much later it was. He heard a rustling behind him and turned to see Dean facing away from him, presumably asleep. His heart soared. _Finally. I never thought it would happen. Now, look at us._ He kept staring at the back of Dean’s head until he stirred and looked around.

He looked back at Cas and smiled. “Hey handsome.” His voice was deep after having just woken up. “How’s it going?” Shivers went down his spine at the tone of his voice.

“I don’t know, just woke up.” He was hungry and thirsty; he recognized the sensations. He got up from the bed and stretched.

“Where you going?”

“Kitchen. Would you like anything?” Cas stopped at the door.

Dean got up, and Cas’s eyes slid down his toned and quite impressive figure. “I’ll go with you. Just give me a second.” He caught Cas staring. “Like what you see?” He most certainly did. He nodded and Dean moved closer. “What do you like about it?” He was centimeters away from Cas’s face. He wanted to flirt, how cute. Cas pulled him in by the waist.

“Everything. Because I already know every inch of you. No criticism coming from the one who put you back together.” Light color rose to Dean’s cheeks. Cas would be a romantic. His stomach growled and he laughed. “I need food. Didn’t Sam say he’d bring something?” He looked around but saw nothing. “Do we have peanut butter and grape jelly?” Peanut butter and grape jelly sandwiches were his favorite food last time he was human.

“No, but we can go out and get some.”

“Do we have burgers?” Cas remembered that he liked burgers too.

“I’ll make some. You can help me out too. Learn some things in the kitchen.” He liked the thought of that. Really, he liked any time that he spent with Dean, but it was the domestic moments he loved the most. He imagined them in the kitchen baking, cooking, and laughing at the mess they’d inevitably make. He followed Dean into the kitchen and gathered what he was told they needed. As they began to make the patties, Jack walked in and sat down at the table to watch them. They didn’t notice as Cas was caught up in watching Dean, and Dean was trying to make sure the burgers didn’t burn. As they got close to being done, Cas turned to grab their buns prepared with lettuce, bacon, and cheese and saw Jack quietly observing them.

“Is it official now? Sam told me to ask.”

Dean looked to Cas, “Yeah, it is.”

“Cool! Does that make Sam my uncle now?” Cas supposed that made sense. He was Jack’s father, he and Dean were together, and Sam was Dean’s brother.

“Call him whatever you want, Jack.” Dean served their burgers. “Did you want one too?”

“I’m good, I had cereal. Does that mean I can call you Dad?” Cas eyed Dean as he froze, burger halfway to his mouth. They hadn’t really talked about labels, family or relationship. He knew Jack considered them to be his parental figures, and they felt like he was their son. Dean seemed to think on it for a minute.

He looked to Cas, “You good with that?” Jack looked at him expectantly.

“Depends on what you’ll call me.”

“Pops, I guess.” Pops, he liked it. It was all coming together for him.

“Fine by me, just remember who’s who. Don’t want to call your Dad if you mean me.” He met Dean’s gaze with all the love and affection he had for their small family in his heart. He heard the tapping of paws and watched as Miracle joined them in the kitchen and went to Jack. He hadn’t met the dog yet, but he was glad to see that Jack had a companion. His hand met Dean’s, and they intertwined their fingers. They were at peace, and they were together.

**Author's Note:**

> So, how was it? Constructive criticism only, please. Comment or message me about your thoughts. I really hope you enjoyed it :) Honestly, I might write another one too, so if you have ideas, lmk


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